Wait! Don’t fret. It’s OK. There isn’t one! God stopped at ten. (Thank you, Lord.)

But, it would be kinda fun to speculate what the Eleventh Commandment would be if God had added to the originals, wouldn’t it? Actually, I’m not the first person to wonder about this. In fact, the Internet is full of attempts at drafting Number 11. Some of these are earnest and worthy (Thou shalt not spread my word with the sword), some are amusing (Thou shalt not get caught), and some are from humorless Christians who see the devil’s frivolity in the enterprise (It is a sin to add to the Ten, because they are perfect as they are.)

Here are more that are worthy of mention:

Thou shalt not abuse animals

Thou shalt not text and drive

Thou shalt not be a jerk

Thou shalt honor thy Taco Tuesday

Thou shalt create a separate line at the deli for all manner of construction workers and their insanely large group orders

and my favorite – Thou shalt lay down the boogie and play that funky music til’ you die.

On Sunday mornings, the Rector’s Forum has been sprinting energetically through all Ten. We’re on schedule to finish in two weeks (after which I’m going on vacation!). Last Sunday we hit number eight. Actually, I got that the wrong way round; number eight hit us. “You shall not steal.” Simple, right? Four words. That’s all. I’m not a bank robber, so what’s the big deal? Easy-Peezy-Lemon-Squeezy.

Well, not so fast. We discovered a few things about this oh-so-simple-sounding commandment. You’ll find the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20. But then there are several chapters of The Fine Print. God and the human lawgivers go into detail, explaining what The Ten Words mean. Much of Leviticus, Numbers, and the remainder of Exodus are a legal commentary on The Ten. There you’ll find that those four words that make up the Eighth Commandment are just the beginning. So…

• Finders keepers? No. “When you happen to come upon your enemy’s ox or donkey that has wandered off, you must bring it back to them…When you see a donkey that belongs to someone who hates you and is lying down under its load and you are inclined not to help set it free, you must help set it free.” – Exodus 23 (This tees Jesus up for his “Love your enemies” ethic.)
• It forbids taking people in slavery – literally stealing human beings.
• It demands that workers are paid fairly and on time for their day’s labor.
• It enforces honest weights and measures in commerce.
• It even places a duty on the king to respect the property rights of citizens – a radical concept at that time.

Methodist commentator, Adam Hamilton sums it all up: “In today’s world this commandment is not only for burglars and pickpockets, it prohibits all kinds of improper gain whether by marketing inferior quality goods, charging excessive prices, being involved in financial corruption, filing dishonest tax returns, profiting from others’ ignorance, giving and receiving bribes, pilfering at work, travelling on trains without a ticket, ignoring copyright laws, or buying and selling unfairly traded goods.”

Yup. I may not be a bank robber, but I still get tempted to break Number Eight. Lord, have mercy.

If you want to delve into the murky details of Number Nine – “Do not bear false witness against your neighbor” — please join us at 9:15 a.m. in the library on Sunday.